Finding joy in the small things

This economy has hit just about everyone I know.  And it's a little more difficult when it hits your own checkbook, right?  We have definitely been in better financial times, but even so we are making things work and finding ways to be creative.  The past several days I have been *extremely* down when it comes to where things stand for us.  I've doubted God's hand in our finances and other things---which I know is not the right place to be in.

This morning I was talking to my SIL when the phone beeped with a call from "Verizon" I answered and it was a recording telling me that we have been getting overcharged and within the next 2-3 billing cycles we should see a credit on our account.  I have no clue how much this credit will be, but I'm so thankful.  The call could not have come in at a better time.  It lifted my spirits and reminded me that God is in control even when I don't "see" it.  I needed that.

Yesterday He used my girlfriend, Sarah and her husband.  I got a package in the mail and it was a beautiful plaque that Chad had made with his CNC machine of all of our names.  It is beautiful and will forever be cherished.  (I'll post a picture tomorrow)

How blessed I am to have a God, family, and friends that love me and are always here for me.  How has God shown Himself to you in your life lately?

Couch ponderings...

I'm sitting here on my couch watching President Obama's speech. I'm sure many of us are pinching ourselves to make sure that this day is not a dream. I found myself in my bedroom this morning on my knees praying for the direction of this country and for wisdom for our new President. I find that in times of change we find ourselves scared and not ready for what is ahead of us. And I would be lying if I said that I was not feeling scared and apprehensive for what is ahead. I do not agree with all of President Obama's views, but likewise, I did not agree with all of John McCain's views. What I do know is this...We are a great nation. Today is a day in history as Barack Obama became our 44th President. I did have to chuckle as President Obama stumbled in the swearing in. He's human just like the rest of us. He can, has and will make mistakes. He is no different than the rest of us. I will commit myself to pray for our new leader and this country.

As we watched, all of my kids were sitting around me and there were questions from just about all of them. During Rick Warren's prayer, Gabe was concerned and wanted to make sure that Rick Warren was a Christian. Gabe's got such a tender heart. They wanted to know why people kept opening their eyes during the prayer---I laughed and told them that they wouln't know that other people had their eyes open if they had THEIR'S closed. ;) When the swearing in began and they said, "Please rise." Haeley, Jasmine, and Gabe all jumped to their feet. Then they looked at me and said, "Do we have to stand too?" Once again, I laughed and told them "no" and they sank back down into the couch. Justin's question which was asked many times was, "Mommy???? Is it almost over YET??" He was ready for lunch and as most 5 year olds doesn't really care at all about our government and this day in history. And now, my kids are crying so I need to go.

Hum Drum...

I really don't want to blog right now, but maybe it'll be good for me to write a little...I had my appointment with ENT today and we talked about the possibility of surgery. It appears that it would be very precarious---or maybe it just seems that way to me. I would lose the right side of my thyroid and I wonder if that would send me into hypothyroidism or if I would be okay. I know that the radioactive iodine (RAI) would most likely take several treatments and in the following days after the treatment I would not be allowed around the kids, prepare food, sleep in the same bed as my husband and in essence I would need to be isolated. Considering that I've got five kids and I homeschool I'm not thinking that would be a good option. If I'm going to be honest, I've ruled out RAI treatment altogether. I don't want it done.

Surgery scares me. A lot. I didn't respond real well to the anestheia when I had my diagnostic surgery a couple years ago. In fact it was supposed to be out patient surgery, but they had to keep me overnight. They did use a different anestheia when I had my hysterectomy and I did fine with that one. But I don't know what kind they would have to use. It would be a 2-3 hour surgery. Since I have an overactive thyroid and the thyroid is a very vascular organ, the potential for a lot of bleeding is pretty high. That scares me. And there is the slight possibililty that they could hit my vocal cords and I could wind up hoarse for the rest of my life. I don't really like that either.

So then we have medication. There are some serious side effects with the medicine, but if you show signs of the serious ones they typically go away when the medicine is discontinued. BUT, they are serious enough to cause me some concern. I want to know what amount of people actually experience these side effects. How rare is it really? Is it 1 out of 10? 1 out of 100? 1 out of 1000? I don't want to be hasty in making a decision, but I also want to come to a decision soon because this is driving me crazy!

There is good news though. My doctor at ENT says that the cyst in my sinus cavity is not to be worried about. He's never had to remove one. And the congestion in my ears doesn't concern him. He also said that he does not think that I have chronic sinusitis. So that's all good. He gave me some exercises to help with my balance and dizzy spells. He also has me coming in for a hearing test. Hmmm. Oh, he said too that one exercise that really helps with the training for balance issues is bowling! I asked him if Wii Bowling was included in that. He kinda laughed and said that it's okay, but real bowling will help more because of the movements and actually having weight being thrown from your arm. All that to say, I think that Brad and I need to have weekly bowling dates. =)

If you think about it, lift up a prayer for Brad and I with this thyroid issue. We need wisdom to do the right thing. I hope all of you have had a great week!

Rationalize much?

I have a problem with rationalizing things. And Friday was no different. :) My conversation with my girlfriend Shelly went like this:

Me: I really need coffee.

Shelly: Okay...? (I think she was afraid to find what road my mind had taken me down this time)

Me: So I was thinking....I have to go to Goodwill and you see since Starbucks is only all of 20 seconds away that would be the smartest time to go. After all, by going then, I would be conserving our gas since I'm already going to be there. AND, with the state of our economy, it is actually very smart of me to go because I will be putting money into our economy---therefore, boosting our economic crisis. AND, Starbucks will boost my mood thus making me a happier Mommy for my kids. Right? ;)

Shelly: (laughing) You have to blog that.

So here I am several days later---and blogging it. I love my Starbucks. I do find whatever reasons I can think of to go. I do think though that if I get an Espresso machine that I will stay home more and then not waste...err spend our money. And then have a happier husband. Right?

Baking 101

Okay so I really would love to be "Mrs. Smith" but it's just not possible. Me and baking don't mesh all that well. Take this latest project. Yesterday I got a hair up my rear to make cinnamon rolls. I followed the recipe to the "T" and then popped them in the fridge with air tight saran wrap on them. I pulled them out this morning as the oven was preheating and then put them in the oven, made the glaze and waited. I could smell the cinnamon rolls and as I opened the oven they looked wonderful, but a little dry. hrmf. I put the glaze on and then finished up the eggs and sausage, prepared the plates and away I went. I caught Brad as he was coming downstairs and we came into the kitchen to eat.

The eggs were great. The sausage....I'm going to have to blame it on the brand this time. I've never butchered sausage. Never. These were the already made just pop in the microwave and cook sausages. They tasted rubbery. They were not eaten. Next the cinnamon rolls. I just don't get it. I really don't. They tasted dense and more like bread with a "fancy" topping. It just wasn't what I had hoped for. I have found a new recipe that I am going to try though and after this if I can't make it work I will no longer try to domesticate myself. It's too tiring and disappointing. :( Better luck next time I suppose.

Weight Loss and Dunkin Donuts ;)

Okay, so I know that losing weight and Dunkin' Donuts shouldn't be in the same schedule, but here they are. ;) I'm still on my journey to lose weight and where it's not always going as fast as I would like I have dropped 9 pounds so far. I'm anxious to see the scale on Thursday. I have about 13 pounds to drop before Thanksgiving. I know I can do it, I just need to get back to exercising. Exercising (and blogging for that matter) went on hold for a couple weeks as I've been battling dizzy spells again. The long story short is that they still aren't sure what's causing them but I go in tomorrow to get a holter monitor to wear for 24 hours. It will monitor my heart to see if anything is going on there. Then on the 21st I have to go to ENT and see if they can tell me anything. And finally I have to have more blood work done on the 7th to see if my thyroid levels have changed. I have felt like one big mess the past couple weeks! Hopefully I'll have some answers soon.

On to the Dunkin' Donuts part of my post. =) They have finally opened a Dunkin' Donuts!!!! We don't have any donut shops around here at all so this has been a huge thing for our area. In fact I went Saturday morning to get donuts for Brad and the kids and I was blown away at how many people were working at 6:30 in the morning! There were 8 people just behind the counter. That didn't even include everyone that was working in the back. Crazy I tell ya, crazy! So while Brad and the kids ate their donuts, I had 2 whole grain, low fat Eggo Waffles, 1/2 a banana, 4 large strawberries, and 2 scrambled egg whites.

Mmmmm....It was yummy, but those blasted donuts were tempting! And I did so good staying away from them. Until about 3:30 in the afternoon. I hadn't had lunch. Brad and I had been outside chopping, splitting, and stacking wood and I was starved! I went in for a drink and there they sat...All of a sudden the box gracefully opened, there was a light that was shinning directly on the oh so delicious smelling and looking devil chocolate cake donut. I tried to resist. I tried really hard. And then it started floating through the air. I stood with my mouth hanging open in complete amazement. At once the donut was in my mouth, and try as I might to spit it out, I swallowed the donut and promptly felt it growing on my right thigh. I succumbed to temptation. I am so weak. =( However, I was working my tail off outside. Yes, I was using the chainsaw and the axe on the firewood. So hopefully I worked all of those nasty calories and fat grams off!!!

Sunday we actually were ready to leave the house early so I had Brad take me to Starby's so that I could get a venti, nonfat, 2 pump sugar free hazelnut Misto and a Reduced Fat Turkey Bacon breakfast sandwich. That was so yummy! He and the kids had their usual Sunday breakfast. Donuts and juice. I know, I know. We get the medal for healthiness! ;)

I'll update more tomorrow, I gotta hit the sack!

Jealous much??

We were driving to church last Sunday night and I was telling Brad about an article I read on Kirk Cameron here. Basically Cameron has resolved not to kiss any woman besides his wife---even with acting. That started a conversation between Brad and I and he said that he thought that was very wise of Cameron. He told me about a time in high school where he was in a play and had a kissing scene. He said that the girl he had to kiss was his girlfriend but that he could only imagine how uncomfortable he would have been if it wasn't his girlfriend he was kissing.

And let me tell you...My stomach started flipping and my heart just started a going...and to be honest, I was getting a little mad. How dare he kiss a girl in high school!! ;) I was thinking that had I dated in high school I probably, maybe, wouldn't get so jealous when I hear about the past relationships...but nonetheless the jealousy reared its ugly head. But as we continued driving I let my mind wander a little more and God hit my upside the head with a 2x4. If I get so jealous over a petty past relationship that my husband had, then how jealous does God get when we put things before Him? I'm telling you 2x4 upside the head. And a big 2x4 at that! I don't want to live my life in regret over the things that I have put before my Heavenly Father. It's my goal to put Him first in all things.

My weight loss journey

So we've started First Place 4 Health at church and I'm pumped! We are in week 3 now and so far I've lost 7 pounds. I know it's not a whole lot, but it's a start and it's got me determined. I was looking back at pictures when I was pregnant with my now 4 1/2 year old and I was amazed to see that I looked better at 3 months pregnant than I do now!! It's a shame that I have let myself get to this point, but I'm not letting myself get any farther and I look forward to seeing numbers fall weekly. The plan is not difficult either. It's a matter of portion control and paying attention. On my daily calorie level my food gets broken down like this:

Fruits: 1.5-2 cups
Veggies: 2-2.5 cups
Grains: 5-6 oz equivalents
Meat: 5 oz
Milk: 3 cups
Oils: 5tsp

Everyday we have to write down what we have eaten and how much of each category we've had daily. Then we have to write whether we need to increase, decrease, or stay the same. I think that part of the journaling has been huge for me! My second week on the plan I did 27 miles on my elliptical and seriously messed up my knee, so I haven't gotten back on it yet. I'm gonna do my pilates and see how that does and I think I'll get a knee brace because that may help give me just a little extra support. My knee was hurting so bad on Sunday that I about cried going up and down the stairs at church. It doesn't help that the stairs are STEEP. It was painful!!!

My goal is to be at least 17 pounds less than I am now come Thanksgiving. I'm gonna get there and I'll keep ya updated along the way. =) And maybe just maybe I'll post a before, during and after picture....but until then....happy trails to you...until we meet again...happy trails to you...

Today has been another typical day in the Smith household. Busy, busy, busy! Brad was having a pitch in at work and I didn't know about it until last night. We got up and got my little peanuts off to school and then off we went. I took my onion chopper thing and my slicer knife too. I bought everything for the taco salad and threw it together in the truck once I got to Brad's office.

Next we went to Cookie Cutters and I got the boys' hair cut. I'm kinda excited, because there was a sign there that said "Family Tuesday". On Tuesdays if you have more than 3 kids you can take them all in and the first is regular price, 13.95 and the rest are 10. That's so worth it for us.

By the time we left there it was late so we went to the drive thru Subway and I got a roast beef sub and water. I'm trying so hard to be good! And it's so hard. I've lost about 5 pounds so far and I'm really determined to lose more. We've made some really good changes in our eating and I'm looking forward to the future changes too. I didn't have any Coke or soda at all yesterday. I've been drinking lots of water. :)

Okay, well off I go. I'm going to jump on my elliptical!

....My hair....

Here you go...pictures of the hair...enjoy

".....and I think to myself...What a Wonderful World..."

I have no clue why that song is running through my head, but it is. We are watching "Oceans 13" and I'm multi-tasking. :) I'm supposed to post a picture of my hair...but I don't have a good one yet. I'll post it later today.

I headed to Target to pick up diapers and I was side tracked by Dress Barn. They had huge sale signs and I was intrigued! So I went in and was so frustrated by the time I left there. You see, I can never find clothes that fit me, but today was different. Everything except for one dress that I took into the dressing room fit me and was flattering. That *never* happens. I was then faced with the difficult decision of what items to buy. I walked out with a couple things that can be interchanged to make 6 outfits!!! WHOO HOO! I was excited. I told Brad and he just looked at me and didn't say a word. =) He'll like the outfits. I'm sure of it.

Pink eye is running through the Smith household. Gabe had it last week and then Justin decided that he wanted it too. Now, Benjamin has it. Great....This could be a bit of a blessing in disguise though. I need to potty train Benjamin and this will be as good a time as ever. I won't be able to go anywhere for the next couple days so we are going to hit potty training full force Monday morning. AHH!!! Pray for me. I'm going to need patience and perseverance for this.

Well I'm off to bed. I'll post potty training progress later.

Sitting a top my lap....

Is my new LAPTOP!!! I know, I'm a dork. The little things in life that excite me. I'm still getting used to the whole laptop deal, but having a blast with it. I *finally* got it all configured for the internet and I have my email accounts set up...granted, I haven't transferred all my email addresses over, but that will come in time.

Hmmm....what interesting things have happened lately....I know that a ton of things have happened and I keep saying that I'm going to post them, but I forget...oh well. Mom, if you remember anything that I was supposed to post shoot me an email and tell me. :)

Oh I remember some!!! HEE HEE HEE!

I think having Emma is going to open up so many areas for laughing! We got Emma a couple weeks ago and Benjamin has become obsessed with being a puppy dog himself. Two days after we got Emma I took her in to be groomed. The groomers gave Benajmin and Justin half a milkbone to give to Emma. Justin tried giving his to Emma, but she really wasn't interested. Benjamin then starts thanking the man profusely for the milkbone. I don't think anything of it and I turned around to finish conducting business. And then it hit me as I turned back to Benjamin....he was thanking the man and was so excited because he thought that the dog bisquit was for him. Yes, that's right. He was eating the milkbone. Only my son.....It gets better though.

I had bought some snausages for Emma and I had her sit and then praised her and gave her one. Benjamin starts jumping up and down saying, "Me!! Me Mommy, Me too!!!!!" I said, "No Benjamin, these are for dogs." Benjamin then dropped to his hands and knees and barks at me.

Here's another Benjamin and Emma story. I was in the kitchen doing dishes when I heard a noise. I turned around and there was my adorable 2 year old in all his glory---drinking out of Emma's water bowl. I cried out, "BENJAMIN NO!!!!" He then proceeded to turn around and growl at me.

Benjamin is great with Emma. He will get her dog treats and tell her to sit and lay down....and she listens to him. It's really neat watching them play together. Emma's a good girl. We are so blessed to have her.

Alrighty, I'm gonna get off of here. I'll try to put some more updates on here tonight.

Oh Mr. Weatherman

I woke up this morning just knowing that it was going to be a Winter Wonderland. After all, before I went to bed I was assured that we would still have a snowfall. But, I was let down again. Not that I'm terribly upset by this---I don't really care for the snow. I'll put up with it, but I prefer to not deal with it. I do get to grocery shopping with no kids and no snow today; I'm excited!

Until next time. =)

God still answers prayers!

Last night at church I was convicted by my lack of vision. We had a guest speaker, Dr. Davis. He said that if you are in the same place you were five years ago and not changing then you have lost your vision. Our Pastor had told us earlier that a lady at his 2nd church said, "Pastor, people do what they want to do." All of this hit me hard.

I sat there thinking about my quiet times and how often I have them. More appropriately, how often I don't have them. I thought about the last 5 years and tried to think of how many days I could say I actually had a quiet time. Forget the last five years, what about the last five weeks? The last five days? I already knew the answer, but it hurt me to think about how I've let all the little things of life get in the way of the important thing. Christ. His love for me.

So, I made a decision last night. I was going to change. I want my kids to see Jesus in me. I want others to see Jesus in me. I set my alarm clock on my cell phone last night for 6am. I never get up at 6 unless it's an absolute neccessary. I prayed before I went to bed and asked God to help me get up and to help keep the house (the kids) asleep so I could spend time with Him. My alarm went off and I didn't want to get up. But, I did.

I went downstairs and lit my candle, turned on my lamp and climbed into my chair. I wanted coffee, but I hadn't ground the coffee beans and I didn't want to risk waking up my "angels". I had a wonderful quiet time. I prayed for all of my kids, my husband, friends...the list went on. I've learned a little on the whole prayer front and I enjoyed praising God for who He is and all that He's done for me. I read part of Psalm 119 and prayed it back to God. God is so good.

I was able to shower and get dressed before the kids woke up. I made them breakfast, we got lunches packed and I read them the Bible and prayed with them before they went to school. They weren't rushed, I wasn't rushed. It was great. I've gotten a ton of housework done. I know that it is all because I started my day with God. I've gone back to Psalm 119 a lot this morning and I've been claiming my other verses (I'll share those later). I love being able to claim His promises! He is so good!

Sinus Infection...

I have a sinus infection. It hurts and I'm tired. The kids don't seem to care that Mom is sick. They're trying to take advantage of the situation. I'm hoping that my meds will help me get back on the road to recovery. We shall see....we shall see....

Proverbs 3

This has got me through the past couple weeks...Proverbs 3 is all about trusting in the Lord. I've needed that.

1 My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. 2 If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying. 3 Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. 4 Then you will find favor with both God and people, and you will earn a good reputation.
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.
7 Don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. 8 Then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones.
9 Honor the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce. 10 Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine.
11 My child, don’t reject the Lord’s discipline, and don’t be upset when he corrects you. 12 For the Lord corrects those he loves, just as a father corrects a child in whom he delights.
13 Joyful is the person who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding. 14 For wisdom is more profitable than silver, and her wages are better than gold. 15 Wisdom is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her. 16 She offers you long life in her right hand, and riches and honor in her left. 17 She will guide you down delightful paths; all her ways are satisfying. 18 Wisdom is a tree of life to those who embrace her; happy are those who hold her tightly.
19 By wisdom the Lord founded the earth; by understanding he created the heavens. 20 By his knowledge the deep fountains of the earth burst forth, and the dew settles beneath the night sky.
21 My child, don’t lose sight of common sense and discernment. Hang on to them, 22 for they will refresh your soul. They are like jewels on a necklace. 23 They keep you safe on your way, and your feet will not stumble. 24 You can go to bed without fear; you will lie down and sleep soundly. 25 You need not be afraid of sudden disaster or the destruction that comes upon the wicked, 26 for the Lord is your security. He will keep your foot from being caught in a trap.
27 Do not withhold good from those who deserve it when it’s in your power to help them. 28 If you can help your neighbor now, don’t say,“Come back tomorrow, and then I’ll help you.”
29 Don’t plot harm against your neighbor, for those who live nearby trust you. 30 Don’t pick a fight without reason, when no one has done you harm.
31 Don’t envy violent people or copy their ways. 32 Such wicked people are detestable to the Lord, but he offers his friendship to the godly.
33 The Lord curses the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the upright.
34 The Lord mocks the mockers but is gracious to the humble.
35 The wise inherit honor, but fools are put to shame!

Season Opener!!!!

Brad won tickets to go to the Colts season opener game. Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t go because he was stuck in Texas. So I took my friend Corrie with me and we had a BLAST! It was so nice getting away from the kiddos for the night and having a good time. I enjoyed and I know Corrie did too. She was extremely tired the next day at work, but it was well worth it!

The Colt’s games are another plus about being out here. This is the second game I’ve been able to go to and I had a blast both times.

Random Thoughts

I cannot type a post and sing a song at the same time. It's too much processing. =)

My Vegetable Garden

Okay, so I'm trying to "Go Green"....sometimes I'm doing good and other times not so good...BUT on Saturday, I spent the day weeding our garden. And then, I planted 6 tomato plants, 5 pepper plants (although Brad let the kids pick them out and we now have 2 hot banana peppers, 1 green, and 2 sweet pepper plants) and a japanese egg plant! I still have to plant my cucumbers, peas, and beans. Our strawberries are doing wonderful! We should have some yummy stawberries before too long. MMMM....

My Weight Loss Nightmare

Okay, so I'm trying to lose weight. Brad and I are coming up on our 5 year anniversary in September and I would *LOVE* to be back down to my pre-wedding/dating weight. I am disgusted when I look in the mirror. I can't stand the way that I look! And so many people say, "Well, you've had 2 babies." SO!?!?!?! Yes, I've had 2 babies, but that doesn't matter. Just because I've had 2 babies doesn't mean that I've been given the green light to gain more weight. I've got a long road ahead of me.

This past week I did great on my exercise and water and I did pretty good on my eating, but did I lose weight? Of course not. I gained weight. It KILLS ME! I don't get it. I don't understand why when I try to do so good that it backfires on me. If I don't try to lose weight, do I gain? No, I've been at least staying the same. GRRR!!! It is so stinking frustrating! I want to lose weight. I want to do it for me. I want to be happy with the way I look. I want to not feel self-conscious everywhere I go.

Here's to a smaller me this next week.