Our Weekend

Brad got home Friday night and I must say all was right in the world again! My children were genuinely happy and joyful that night. We came home, popped some popcorn, pulled out the bean bag chairs, put on “Astro Boy”, and enjoyed the evening. Benjamin and Justin alternated sitting on Brad’s lap and loving their Daddy time. I looked over and found both Benjamin and Justin sound asleep on their Daddy’s lap. It was a moment that I know Brad just cherished. He misses his kids so much and he loved how much they were clinging to him. I loved sitting back and watching them all with their Daddy. Be still my heart!

Saturday morning I ran to Hilligoss bakery for some donuts, Starbucks for me, and the bank. I got home and we started working on the house. Some friends from church came over and helped paint and get some other stuff done. We got the PackRat canisters packed up some more, scraped paint off windows and some other stuff that is escaping me at the moment.

I went to church this morning to teach our Sunday School class and planned on leaving and coming home, but then I stayed through our morning worship and it was nothing short of amazing. Honestly I would say the morning worship was some of the *best* we have ever had. My soul was completely blessed!! I was further blessed this afternoon when listening to our Pastor’s sermon. Take a listen, you will be blessed too! I so love our church!!!!

This afternoon we spent some quality family time at the Greenwood Park Mall. We had to go and get Benjamin’s Build-a-Bear. He wanted a Polar Bear, but they didn’t have any so he settled on a black bear with a Batman costume. He named his bear Bat Bear---very appropriate if you ask me. :) Bat Bear is cute just like my Boo Bear! There was this hurricane simulator device in the mall that Brad and the kids went in and had fun having the wind blowing crazy at them. Then they had this bungee trampoline that the kids thoroughly enjoyed jumping on. Justin got really high and made me sick because he looked so small all up in the air!! He loved it! Benjamin got a little scared, but then loved it too. Gabe was going crazy and I think he really liked how weightless it made him feel. He said his legs felt wobbly when he got off of it. Jasmine’s hair was going crazy on it and her frog legs were all over. Haeley liked it alright, but I think she’s “too cool” for that now. She will be 13 in December. :)

We then went and got ice cream and then it was time to take Brad to the airport. =( I loved the time that we got to spend together having fun as a family! It has been a long time coming. Every weekend we have spent it working on the house and it was wonderful just enjoying being together and being a family. I am so thankful for my family! So thankful! Brad made it to VA safely and we are only 5 days away from him being back. I put some pictures up on the “My Albums” page. Check ‘em out and comment. Any lurkers out there? Comment and let me know you are reading. :) :) :)

PARTY!

Today was the first day back to school for Avon students and we had a blast not going back to school! We met at “our” pool at 11 and the festivities began! We had a blast! There were luau decorations, yummy food, music, good friends, and of course the water. The kids sang “Happy not yet back to school day to us......” before they ate their cupcakes and we celebrated at not being in school yet when we heard the buses going by. We took tons of pictures and once I get those sorted I will post them. :) :) Here are a couple though. :) Enjoy

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My heart

We still are not ready to list our house on the market, but the Lord knows when we are going to move and who is going to buy this house. He has the details all worked out and I can’t worry about them, I just need to wait upon Him. Waiting upon Him is terribly hard. I’m so ready for our family to all be together again. I’ve got Brad coming home the next 3 weekends and prayerfully we will be ready to list the house at the end of that time. I’ve found several houses in VA that I really like but I’m not getting too excited about them. I know the perfect house for us is out there.

I ordered bean bag chairs for the kids the other day. I only ordered 3 because I’m stupid and thought they would be okay sharing them. Tonight I ordered 2 more. I hate admitting my moron moments. I could give several more, but I have a little pride.

The past two-ish weeks have been pretty eventful. I started feeling a little odd about 2 weeks ago and blew it off. My stomach just wasn’t right and I equated it to stress. By last Sunday night I was in some terrible pain. I wound up going to the doctor on Monday and after a CT scan I was diagnosed with diverticulits. I was put on 2 antibiotics and vicodin. By Tuesday night I was able to go off the vicodin and I was starting to feel normal again. My energy is still not back completely, but it’s getting there. My church was wonderful in coming to my aid. Some friends took the kids Monday night and kept them over night. I was able to sleep quite nicely. Then Tuesday started our meals. My kids and I have been very well fed and I feel very blessed to have these amazing people around us.

During this whole ordeal it was Benjamin’s birthday and I felt *awful* that I was laid up and not able to do anything for him. One of the couples at church that brought us dinner brought an ice cream cake for Benjamin. It was the sweetest thing. I was very grateful for that. :) I don’t have any good pictures though because I has misplaced my charger for my camera and had to use my iPhone. :( BUT, in good news I found the charger today!!! Just in time for our.....PARTY!!!

No, not for Benjamin (yet). My girlfriend Sarah and I are having a “It’s NOT back to school day” party tomorrow! We’re doing a Luau theme and the kids are going to get to kick back and relax when all the other kids from Avon are starting back to school. HA! Homeschool ROCKS! :) :) Speaking of homeschool. I decided on AOP’s Lifepacs and Horizons curriculum. I’m so excited for this year to start (BUT not till September). I’m going to do a geography unit study also with the kids. I haven’t decided what I’m going to do just yet, but I’m thinking one of GeoMatter’s products. I had ordered Galloping the Globe a couple years ago and loved it, but I was doing too many other things and I couldn’t get into it as much as I wanted. I really think I’m going to go back to that or Cantering the Country.

I know that the next couple weeks are going to continue to be challenging, but I’m so thankful for being able to put my trust in the Lord. I want to get back to updating this more often. I will really try to do better, especially when school starts after LABOR DAY!!!!!! WHOO HOO!!!!

The Baby

I don’t know what it is about my baby, but he can always melt my heart! Benjamin is definitely the baby of the family and I’m not ashamed to admit it! He is a lot like Jasmine in temperament and he has such a tender heart. Typically he strives for nothing more than everyone to be at peace. He doesn’t like fighting and his heart is gravely wounded when his brothers make fun of him. He loves his brothers and sisters. He’s always thinking. Always. I remember when he was really little and he would take his cars and line them all up in a row. He would get so upset when I would turn one of the cars in a different direction. They had to be just as he had put them. As a baby he was always happy. Benjamin seldom cried. He loved being cuddled and loved on and he still does.

Benjamin will do and or say things that just warm my heart! And then other times he makes me shake my head and laugh out loud. The other day I told him that I loved him. He replied, “I love you too Mommy!.....Mommy, you’re the queen of my heart! AND Jesus lives in my heart!” Oh how my heart swelled. My sweet little boy.

Progress

The house is coming along thanks to some WONDERFUL friends whom have made themselves available to help out. We had an amazing work day here along with Gabe’s birthday party. Kill 2 birds with one stone. :) The dining room is undergoing its transformation and it looks FABULOUS! The kitchen should be ready to paint before too long. We still have a lot to do, but getting this projects knocked out one at at time is such an encouragement. HUGE shout out to Chad and Sarah for coming! And thank you Chad again for fixing my vacuum and using my AMAZING truck to pull the wimpy Texas truck out of the mud. :)

Shout out to Adri and Art and all the help that you were and for getting your wimpy truck stuck in the mud so my AMAZING truck could pull it out. :)

Love you guys!

My Boy turns 10!

He made it. There were many days I wondered if my sweet little boy would make it to 10, but this picture is proof that he made it! I’m a bit wiser for getting him to 10 and though some days I thought that giving him away was a good idea, I am so blessed to have Gabe as my son. I love him with every fiber of my being and so greatly enjoy seeing the man that he is growing into. It is my desire that as Gabe grows and matures that he would continue to pursue a relationship with the Lord.

I’m thankful to the Lord for the incredible privilege He has placed upon me in my life and role as a mom. So many days I feel like I’m failing my kids, but I pray that through my mistakes they may see Jesus in me. I do not want them to think of my as perfect, because they need to know and see the real me. Gabe has been getting himself into some trouble lately and I have had it with the sneakiness. This past week I lost my cool and yelled at him and did not respond in an appropriate manner. A good friend listened to me complain and then called me on the carpet on my behavior! He said, “What a great opportunity for you to grow and learn. I know this is hard, but you are equipped to handle this. You can do this, but you have to be stronger than that. I realize that is easier said than done. But it is possible. I hope you have asked for his forgiveness. In his eyes he can see a justification fro a wrong behavior based on anger over a circumstance. You don’t want to reinforce that. You can do this, Moe, you sure can.” I read that and was a little stunned at the words I was reading because I was so intent on holding onto my anger that I was not allowing the situation to resolve itself. I did go to Gabe and apologize and my anger instantly dissipated. I am so thankful that the Lord used Richard to speak to my heart!!! I needed to hear those very words.

Gabe, I love you!!!! Happy Birthday, I’m so blessed to have you!!!!!!!!

Love to all!

Update

I keep trying to update this and every time I do, my words escape me. Here's the rundown of the past couple weeks.

5/19 Brad accepted the position to go in Chesapeake, VA. We then started informing our friends and family of our future endeavor. As to be expected, it was met with joy and sadness. And to be honest that was felt all the way around. We are so close to having this house "done" and we won't be able to really enjoy it. =( I hate thinking of that because it truly makes me so sad. I hate leaving our church. I hate leaving our house and land. I hate leaving our friends. But I love moving back to family. I love the family holidays that will happen. I love that my man will be able to surf more frequently. I love being able to take my kids to the beach. I love the rich history in Virginia. I love not having Indiana winters!! I love my husband having a job where he will be happy….That's a whole lot of love and hate going on, huh? =) The Lord is good and faithful and will see us through this transition time.

5/23 We had a wonderful church service and afterwards our good friend, Chad, came over and helped Brad grout the bathroom. Justin and Andrew (Chad and Sarah's son) had a blast playing in the creek and having a mud fight with each other. They were FILTHY afterwards and I used the water hose to rinse/wash them off. We went over to the Richardson's for dinner and had a wonderful night of fellowship with them. It was such a nice night.

Memorial Day weekend was spent working on the house. I got teary eyed on Saturday as Pack Rat came and dropped off the canisters so we can pack. Then my good friend, Cindy, came over and helped me stain doors and trim for the house. I was so thankful for the time we got to spend together gabbing and just enjoying each other's company. We were tired Sunday after church and decided naps were in order! ;-) Then it was out to split wood and load it in the wood shed thing. Monday we had another group of friends from church come over and help us some more. Art was wonderful and really helped get a lot of stuff mudded and packed. Adri helped me get things packed up and we got to run to Lowe's to pick up some more materials. We decided that it would really be a shame to not go and get coffee while we were out too. And then we had another pitstop at Big Lots---it was the grand opening. I did a wee bit of damage in there, but it was all good stuff. I got really teary eyed as I started taking pictures off the walls. I think the realization hit again at that point. God keeps hitting me at different times with this move. Sometimes it's good and sometimes it's not so good. Some other friends came over and they took ownership over our fish and live rock. We'll have to start a new salt water tank once we get settled back in VA.

6/1 Our realtor came over and did a walk through on the house. Oh. My. Word. Brad and I were a bit depressed at all the work that still needs to be done. I did get the pleasure of doing the happy dance on a couple areas that Debbie said needed changed because I told Brad these things needed to be done when we were doing them originally. However, there is still a lot of work. A lot. A lot. A lot.

6/3-6/5 For the past several weeks I had been noticing that when i would turn on the kitchen faucet the water would surge. I was worried about our well and mentioned it to Brad but he didn't seem to concerned. That night I made sausage gravy, biscuits, and eggs for dinner. Right after I started to serve up the kids I went to turn the water on and there was NO WATER!!!!! NONE! NADA! That started our well adventure. Long story short…several WONDERFUL friends came over and helped dig a big hole, then another friend helped pull the well pump out and replace it. The help of our friends saved us $2600! Thank you guys!!!

6/6 My man left for VA and I had a very emotional day. Very emotional. Church was an experience that I will never forget. It was Pastor John's last Sunday preaching as our interim pastor. We usually do the Lord's Supper on Sunday night, but we changed things up a little and had it during Sunday morning service. What an experience in so many ways! Pastor John served each family individually. We walked to the front of the church and he prayed over us and served us. It was an incredibly sweet time. I cried my eyes out as he prayed for us---so many emotions! We were up there as family, but missing my husband, one of the keys to this family!!! I don't think I've experienced something quite so intimate like that.

After church I took the kids out to eat some Mexican and it was just okay. Then we came home for a little bit before heading to a friends house for a birthday party. I love times of fellowship! We had some wonderful food and just a good time. We got home and I got the kids to bed and started my first sleepless night. :(

I'm sure so much more has happened as I write this, but I'm going to close it out for now and I'll update more soon. ;) :)

Love to all!

This Boy

Justin is my little nut job. I love him so much for his craziness! He has a mind that never quits working and an adventurous spirit like none other! When he sets his mind to something he goes for it full throttle. He is showing his caring and sweet side more and more often, but we do still have our outbursts of anger.

Tonight we were at a friend’s house for cook out. They have an outside cat, Oliver. Justin loves Oliver. He played over there earlier this week and became obsessed with this cat. He wanted to go back the next day so he could play with the cat again. So tonight the kids (all 10 of them) spotted Oliver. Justin started going towards Oliver and then Oliver darted and went in the crawl space of the neighbors house. Justin was not going to be stopped and followed into the crawl space after this cat! I hollered at him to come out and a couple seconds later he emerged. Victorious. He had Oliver in his arms.

About 20 minutes after that one of the kids came in upset because Justin wasn’t sharing. I was confused because I didn’t know what he wasn’t sharing. Any guesses? Yep, he was not sharing Oliver. He was sitting up in the play set with Oliver in his arms just loving all over this cat. Justin was in heaven. We wound up telling the kids that they had to let Oliver go and just leave him be for a bit. My boy is desperate for a cat.

I desperately want to get him a cat. Unfortunately, his aunt and one of his cousins are terribly allergic to cats. =( Any ideas?? I certainly could use some.

...and the ride continues

So I posted about our lovely roller coaster ride that we were experiencing and now I’m at liberty to explain this crazy ride. It’s not been a secret that Brad’s been unhappy and we’ve been looking for a new job for some time now. We’ve done a lot of looking in our area locally because we weren’t quite ready for a move. Our house has needed just a wee bit of work and as much as we missed our families, we were content where God had placed us.

A while back the company Brad used to work for in VA began pursuing him. There was a lot of back and forth. In April we made the decision that we were not going to move but stay here while Brad completed his CEM (Certified Energy Management) and Lead Certification. He’s about a year from his CEM and that would really open up doors for him. About this time we hadn’t heard anything back from the company in VA anyhow so we felt that God closed that door. Unbeknownst to us God was just waiting to open that door a little wider.

A couple weeks ago we got an email wanting to know if we were still interested in moving back east. I was very confused when Brad said ‘yes’. I thought we had decided to stay here. Brad said he thought it would be foolish to not at least see what they would offer. The first offer came in and we knew immediately that it wasn’t going to work without some tweaking. Two days later, we got another offer. It was better for the first and Brad and I met for a lunch date so we could discuss it. It was a very emotional time for me because I want to be in the Lord’s will, I miss my family, and I love where we are all at the same time!!! I wish we could pick up Hendricks County and take it to VA with us. We were having a very hard time making our decision so we opted for the best decision making process ever. The salt shaker was “go”, the pepper shaker “stay”. We then proceeded to spin our iPhones to see what the course for our life would be. Just kidding. Not really. I mean we did spin the iPhones and the salt and pepper shakers did mean “go” and “stay” but we really didn’t use that as our final decision making tool. Honest.

We prayed. I cried because I knew the answer. We were finally so close to moving back to VA but it wasn’t going to happen. Unfortunately the offer was not enough for our family of 7 to make it. It wasn’t about our extended family. It wasn’t about our church family. It was about our family of 7. We would not be able to adequately take care of us. I felt like a small part of me died when we decided we were going to stay here. It’s really weird because I do love it here. I love the peacefulness at my house. I love love LOVE my church. I cannot say enough about The Church at Avon. (I have no clue who reads, this but if you are in the Avon area and need a good church, you MUST go to The Church at Avon. Not in a couple weeks, but this week. On Sunday...be there!) But with all that I love here, my heart years to be with my family too. I feel so conflicted, because my heart breaks at not seeing my family here, but my heart soars with delight knowing that my family will be a phone call away. My kids will grow up with their aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents...the whole nine yards.

When I was a kid we moved to Japan and those 6 years were some of the best of my life. I loved every minute of it. It was the most amazing experience. We moved there when I was 9 and moved back when I was 15...duh...9+6=15. Before we moved to Japan I felt we were close with our extended family, however when we moved back it felt different. In the 6 years we were gone, the family went on...the relationships that I shared with my cousins were not the same when we came back. We had grown apart mainly because we’d grown up on 2 different continents! Facebook has been awesome since we’ve been here because I feel like we’ve definitely reconnected even with us being in Indiana. I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t want my kids to grow up in that same fashion. I want their relationships with their extended family to be strong and solid.

Back to the job...I went on quite a rabbit trail there. Brad said no to the offer and he was told that they were not accepting ‘no’ and would get back to us on Monday. It was a LONG weekend waiting for Monday to come. Brad worked on Mother’s Day and then he also worked Saturday and Sunday of the following week. Monday he worked till midnight, Tuesday he had to go to Milwaukee. Tuesday night Brad and I were crying out to the Lord. Brad prayed for God to deliver him and honestly we had no clue how God was going to do that; we just knew He would because He is faithful and good to His people. Brad and I were blown away the next day when an offer came in at the exact amount that Brad had said we would need to make the move. We both felt an incredible peace that this was God’s answer to months and months of prayer. We accepted the job and I was so excited with how God had answered our prayer.

That excitement quickly changed to sadness as I knew the task ahead of me was telling the people here that I love dearly the news. It’s bittersweet. We knew we were in the Lord’s will when we moved here and I am at complete ease knowing we are in His will now too---it’s just hard. I’m sad that we will miss what God is going to do through Pastor Dan Wigton and his family at The Church at Avon. Pastor Dan’s first Sunday is Father’s Day. Brad starts his job on June 7th. The kids and I will be here until we sell our house. As much as I don’t want to leave our friends, I want to be reunited with my husband in VA. I’m so thankful that my man has provided and taken such good care of us.

.....as an added bonus, Brad will be able to surf in the ocean and won’t have to try surfing in the creek like the above picture. ;)

Love to all!

Gimme a break

WARNING: This post may contain the heart of my pity party...

Do you remember the Kit Kat Jingle? “Gimme a break. Gimme a break. Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar....You could keep it yourself but it wouldn’t be fair. That chocolate crunchy taste is loved everywhere.” Lately with the hours Brad has been working I’ve been singing that to myself. I don’t need the chocolate (although I love my chocolate) but what I do need is a break. It doesn’t even have to be anything elaborate. I simply need time for me.

I used to feel guilty about saying that I needed “me” time but not anymore. I don’t feel guilty about it. I know I need to take care of myself as I take care of my kids and house. Brad’s hours have been crazy and I have not had time for me without knowing at any minute the kids would call me back to them. Brad had to work on Mother’s Day and then had a business trip the day after. He didn’t get home until Tuesday night. The kids have missed him terribly and so have I.

We were able to have a lunch date on Friday which was fabulous, but it was also very emotional as we had a difficult decision to make. I valued that time with him but it was an afternoon laced with heartache and somewhat of a bittersweet finality all at the same time. Unfortunately, Brad had to work yesterday and again today. The kids have been getting to bed late and that always contributes to the grumpy behavior. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making an excuse at all for them---grumpy or not they are still responsible for their behavior, however I know that if I have not made sure they get to bed at a decent time I cannot be too terribly upset when they start acting out.

Take today for example. Justin. I love that boy with every fiber of my being. I can remember with detail the nine months that I was privileged to carry him in my belly. I remember being sick with the smell of any tomato based sauce. I remember the joy of finding out I was having a son. I remember picking out his name and registering for all the “stuff” for him. It was one of the most enjoyable times of my life. Gabe will always be my first son, but Justin will always be my first born son.

I know I have made plenty of mistakes in raising my kids. I make them on a daily, heck, an hourly basis. I can only pray that through the wisdom of God I can somehow make up for those mistakes. Justin has always been my envelope pusher and I have no clue when or even if that will stop. But I love him all the same. I adore my son. I cannot imagine not having him in this family. He stole a piece of my heart the day I saw his heart beating on the ultrasound. I never knew that type of instantaneous love was possible. It breaks my heart when I see him acting out with his temper. It breaks my heart when his anger gets the best of him. It breaks my heart when I would rather put him to bed than truly deal with him because I have no fight left in me.

Justin has been overly tired the past couple days and today was no exception. He started before we even left church and I had to have Brad talk with him for a couple minutes. That seemed to help for a little bit. And then he didn’t get his way and it all hit the fan! I was able to reel him back in and I thought we would have a good rest of the day. Around 5 it really started spiraling and I knew an early bedtime was in the works. I didn’t realize how early or what was going to transpire to get us there and really that’s not what is important. What is important? His heart. Getting to his heart. Reaching his heart and showing him my heart and love for him. More importantly, showing him God’s love for him. I put my little guy to bed early tonight and he proceeded to call “MOMMY!!!!” for the next 35-40 minutes. I did go up and see what he needed but it was always the same thing...he didn’t want to go to bed and he wanted Daddy. I wanted to cry that I wanted Daddy too, but what good would it do for him to see me fall apart?

As I type this he has finally quieted down and I can only pray that he gets a good rest and tomorrow we can talk about our day and both of us learn something. I know that it’s not just me teaching him, but Justin teaching me too. James 1:19-20 says, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. For man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.”

I desire to live a righteous life.